Just got back from my cousin Linus' house. My family was there for a Christmas reunion thingy. I didn't talk much. Still was quite tired from the camp as well as the slam dancing yesterday at the third place. Even though I slept for almost 15 hours today. Exhausted to the max...

Anyway... The camp was a success, so to speak. 6 people received Christ and almost all the Christians re-dedicated their lives to God. I was amazed at the response. I mean, 3 PRCs on the first day is unheard of in Charis. I was brought to tears repeatedly when I saw people being touched by God... It brought back the warning that God gave me in November that if I don't pray, and things screwed up, it would be my fault. Because I already knew what I had to do. And yet at the same time, by praying, it doesn't mean that I did anything... Only allowing God to do His work... Interesting isn't it?

Its time for me to move up... Looking at Shianni, Lynette and Oon move around praying for people and giving words made me stand and take note of how much I still have to learn. Seeing how greatly God multiplied my efforts makes me want to give more and more and finally all of myself... I was sitting back watching how God was using the opportunity to touch and transform lives. This was what I was talking about. This was what I wrote on 14 March...
Felt God speaking to me when Patsy Carmaneti was sharing about the presence of God. I was asking Him 'what happened to the people who just wanted to experience your presence? What happened to just spending time with God and seeing Him do miracles and seeing people slain in the Spirit?' I saw all this when I was a young boy. Why don't I see it anymore? What happened to the carefree, unashamed display of love to God? Why am I asking all these questions? You knew of His goodness too. Ask yourself, daryl...
I feel that something needs to be done about this.

And on 7 April
Yesterday, Pastor Lee spoke about God's plan for us to have abundant life... ABUNDANT!!! Full, even till its overflowing. Not a life of depression, discontent or deception! Not a life in fear of circumstances, be it war, disease or anything like that. I sensed a difference in the way he preached. It could be seen in the way he talked and even in his eyes. It was so powerful. But when he invited those who wanted to receive this abundant life to stand. Very few people stood. It was so sad. On one hand, they're crying out for help... They're crying out to experience God. But when its put in front of them, they don't see it. I couldn't take it... I wanted to shout at them to wake up... I was crying for them all the way from Holy Communion till after the service. Prayed for them in the Spirit. I cried out to Him and asked Him open their eyes and soften their hearts. Also for Him to use me somehow to tell them of what they have as Christians! It was so disturbing when I glanced from the corner of my eye and so practically ALL the youths sitting down. It was as if they weren't listening!!! Its a burden in my Spirit. I MUST pray for them.

"Dear Lord... I thank you for everything you've been to me this past few months. I thank you that You're always there for me, even when I occasionally forget about You. Lord, I still want to be used by You. Lord, help me as I empty myself of my desires and replace them with Your supreme will for my life. Lord, I'm deeply troubled by the Spiritual state of the youth in church. But help me not to take things into my own hands. Lord, I believe that changes are taking place. Thank You Jesus. For our good and Your Glory, I pray, Amen..."

Can't you see it? Can't you see how unbelievably clearly God is working? Isn't it obvious about the direction He wants you to go? You've seen how much God can do through you when you give up this much... What if you gave up all? Wouldn't it be greater, more miraculous work?